F[O]REVER, I [W]ILL B[E] A STRONG [G]IRL

histOry~

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Felt like going back, to where we first knew.
Thinking about the present made me felt so
attached to the past. Why does history always
felt so memorable, so bittersweet as compared
to now?

Used to be so innocent. Used to be sweet.
Was so carefree and without any stress.
No worries, no sadness, no nothing.
Didn't bothered about anything either.

I wanna go back, to where i first knew him.
He used to be so sweet, so caring, so
nice, so good. Things had changed a little.
Maybe that's why he'd changed. I miss the old
him. I miss the old me. I miss the old us.

Used to force myself to wake early in the
morning just to say morning in msn to him.
Used to stayed up late just to talk to him
longer in msn even when I'm very tired.
Used to play maple together. We were once
very happy.

Now, he slept until he wanna wake then wake.
Ask him to wake early to accompany me shop
or go out. He said no promises, and he woke
at the time he wish in the end.

He no longer stay in msn to talk to me. He just
said goodnight whenever he wanna sleep.
Leaving me alone in msn idling around.

We never play games together now. He played
dota with his friends when he wake or before
he sleep. Msn-ed him, but he never reply as
he's in dota. He said he don't like to dota, only
plays when his friends asked him to, or when
he's bored. When I first joined him in dota, he
used to coach me in game even if it's hard as
he had to type out and i may not understand.
Now, he will say, it's hard to teach in game by
typing. So he never teach me and apologised.
His friend used to teach me over the phone.
His friend coach me in game even thou its
hard, had to type to coach me.

So many things had changed. I just felt so tired.

2:24 PM | back to top

haizzzz

Saturday, August 08, 2009

miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him
miss him
miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him
miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him
miss him
miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him miss him

still got [24x3] + [22] = 94 HOURS to meet him !!!!
I'M GONNA FETCH HIS PLANE EVEN IF ITS MIDNIGHT! I DON'T CARE! WO BU GUAN!! AT MOST TAKE CAB BACK! WO BU GUAN LA!! NO MATTER WHAT I ALSO WANT GO FETCH HIM FROM AIRPORT! HURRRRRR!

-steph

2:08 AM | back to top

Life’s tough without him. <3

Thursday, August 06, 2009

He reached Japan this afternoon 12pm SG time. Which is 1pm JP time. Haiz. He said he’s in Hokkaido. Wondered why he reached Hokkaido at this time so asked him. He said he reached Japan Airport, Narita at 7am+. then have to wait for the plane to start for their next destination. They check in at 10am JP, the the flight took off at 11am JP. By the time they reach, its already 12pm JP. Haiz. Felt so sad when he told me that he’s already in JP. He’s not with me in SG anymore!! No one to rub my tummy when its in painful, no one to sayang me to sleep, no one to accompany me to go out, no one to buy me food when I’m hungry.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hate this !!!!

WHY MUST HE GO JAPAN N LEAVE ME HERE !!!!!! ALONE~~~~~~~~~~

Sad.

don’t know what to do for these 8 days~

-steph

5:37 PM | back to top

As time goes by. . .

Sunday, August 02, 2009

It’s been so long since me and him last contact.
He initiated to contact me today.
It was a shocking happening to me.
I never thought he would ever contact me again.
He used to detest me so much last time.
It was a memory-filled session.
I was reminded of what i used to have and hold.
I used to love him so much,
so much until i myself don’t even believe it.

He told me he had nothing left beside army and family.
How about his friends?
He quarrelled with Reject.
No longer contact his friends.
How about his girlfriend?
He doesn’t have one since we broke up.
James’s sister told me he had a girlfriend after me.
He said they didn’t end up together.
He didn’t go out to find any.

He regretted breaking with me.
He realised it only when he entered NS.
Since he entered NS, he started to change,
including his thinking, everything changed.
He knew it’s history, he just wanted to let me know.
Which department is he in in NS?
Land, A, tough training – people use tank,they use leg.
Laugh.

He know that i have a boyfriend now,
at least we still can be friends?
Of cos, still friends (:
He hopes my boyfriend will treat me well
cos he already regret, hope my boyfriend will treasure me.
My boyfriend definitely treats me well.

Invited him to watch movie with me.
Will be 4 weeks from now.
He’s currently busy with his NS, marathon and camps.
Movie session to be confirmed again.

Glad that he’s more matured now.
Told laogong about this.
He’s angry. Understandable.

Good news is, we’re back to norm again !
Love laogong.
My dearest precious baby.
I love you. ^^

Laogong is the only one who i do not
wish to lose in my entire life besides my family.
I want to be with him forever,
till the day i die.
So i’ll hold on,
very tightly.
Loves~

-Steph

1:20 AM | back to top