Amazing series ! Only laughters and laughters found while watching. Gahs. Betty's cool. She's really damm ugly, no sense of fashion and every shit you want out of her, she's got it! Damm chio (: Anyway. Why out of the sudden, i'm ugly-betty`ing? Oh. Cos i was really really bored. Saw this new season of Desperate Housewives, then decided to watch it. While searching for D.H in youtube. Ugly betty strike me. Just like how a lottery did. It's damm irritating alright. Having to search from the first season, first episode to the last one. I just couldn't find the first episode of the first season. Having a hard time finding with boyfriend alright. It's okay. We managed to find the second episode of the first season instead. So started watching it. Found Betty really chio. Keep it up betty, i love you~
Anyway. Had a really long chat with boyfriend last night. Found out alot of things. Pretty cool. Last night was one of the nights in my life that i will never forget. I love him.
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HENI DONG SHU YA. I didn't update? I've updated this ESPECIALLY FOR YOU *grins* Complain somemore and your reputation shall be in HELL (: <3
I'm not at home now. Guess where am i right now at this moment? Dear's friend, Eugene's house. Just got up after an hour of rest. My stomach hurts, it really hurts. Th pain, unbearable! It's alright, i got through it still. Th pain was with me for the whole night! Don't know what happened to my precious lil stomach. Sobs. Stress probably. Felt so much better after waking. Maybe camping over at Eugene's house for a few days. In woodlands, besides dear's house, there're no other places i can go to. I mean overnight. Guess Eugene's th only one who can accept me for a few nights. Don't wish to go home. Don't wanna let my family members have th chance to question me for my tears. I wouldn't know what to say or reply them. If i kept quiet, they would get angry. Don't wanna see them worried bout me. Therefore, I'm here in woodlands! I'm sad. But who knows, think alot knows that i'm sad. But dear doesn't know that i'm sad.
Back to topic, i wanted to say why i ended up at Eugene's house last night. Was accompanying Winna, dear's sis, almost everyday. Worried bout her and whenever i'm at dear's house, winna's the only one who can pei me. He's useless. Only know audi, Audi is th only thing important to him. After audi ? buddies or most probably illusion, his ex. Whatever. I'll only get sad when i mention him out, when i mention his ex out. It's always like this. From th beginning, if u still have her in ur heart, why bother asking me. Why must u lie to me? Am i so nice to bluff? Not funny! U think its nice to toy with others' feelings? think bout it, if u're me. How would u feel? Won't feel good of cos! DUH! WHO WOULD FEEL GOOD AFTE BEING TOYED BY OTHERS?
Sibei bo mood after talking or mention bout him. His image, his pictures, his name can only make me feel sad. In a relationship, I should feel happy or at least glad. But in this relationship, i only feel sadness and emptiness. Not at all happy or even glad. Okay. change. in the beginning, yes. But as days goes by, it dropped. Drastically! Right after only one week, i felt like i went through a year. Not kua zhang at all okay. I don't know how to describe this feeling. But its like this lor.
He cheated on me. He said he loves me, but he needs time to sort out his feelings, and decides if we could go on. WHY? i guess its cos i can't satisfy his needs (: I'm not those wild in bed kind of girl. I'm a very normal and simple girl! I'm not Angelina or Rihanna or whatever stars u name. I'm not those Porn Stars who can satisfy your needs. I have my needs too! and that's REST of cos. Why can't u just let me rest. And stop whinning that it's boring everyday? If being with me still makes u feel bored, go chase back your illusion. She can make ur everyday A GOOD DAY.
Can't stand my attitude? Hey LOOK HERE! Who's the one who's suffering? OPEN UR DAMM EYES WIDE! irritating la! Th one with attitude problem saying others have attitude problem. If you doesnt want to be with me. SAY from the beginning! Don't make me sad luh! It wont feel good to be sadded alright! Everyone has flaws. I can't escape from these flaws either. But look. I can stand your bad points. Can u stand mine? I didnt even have much time to show u my flaws! and u said i've got bad points? Come on~ what kind of reasoning is that? Your flaws are So fucking lot! U name it, he got it.
At first i tot he was different from other guys, nah. I was wrong. Totally wrong! He's th same as other guys! NO DIFFERENCE~ Try get hooked by him and u'll know. I love him. Yes. But,there's nothing i can do right now to get him to love me. Love can't be forced. Everyone says tht i'm dumb, silly, stupid and everything. Treat him so good for what? Why are u being so nice to him? You deserves a better guy. Yeah. Even his best fren said so. He's just TOO selfish. He only thinks for himself. He thought the world revolves around him. What a ''king'' thinking. U're plainly selfish and immatured.
Tot your character was a better one among th guys, that's why i fall for u. Tot u're matured, that's why i fell for u. But right now. after so many things that've happened, i realised, i'm wrong. again. Ur friends, who are younger than u, is also much more matured than u do. Your friends have a much better ccharacter than you do. What more can you say? I'm not fit to be your gf and those shiit stuff? Or don't want to hurt me, So it's best if we don't continue this relationship? Name me whatever u've gt my dear. Fucked up by his super weird attitude. Yeah, cos he's special.
I cursed and swear at him for one essay. But i miss him. A lot. Right now. In my heart, he still has got a place. Why did i love him so much? I'm really dumb. Whenever i think of him, my heart got the monobeat coming bout, can't breath well. maybe even stopped my breathe for tht three seconds. How hurt it was? Take a knife and stab me. Slice me up alive. Really tired of such relationships. Thought i've found a long lasting one. Didn't turn out well. I'll move on ahead. I'll make sure i shine better than all his ex. I'll make sure he regret for cheating on me. U're TX? then i'm SUPER DUPER UBER TX (:
I'm at home for tonight. Bought his 2nd sis back home. I kidnapped her (: Over a short period of time, I've successfully became a kidnapper! SO beware of ME. I'm just warning you. Lmao.
Came back home, dropped the thoughts of going back woodlands. Mainly, becos of HIM. Yes. It's Him again! Games comes first, followed by Buddies, then Girlfriend. Grats me. Found such a ''good'' boyfriend. For game, he can neglect me. Sua. i take the fact that u're obsessed with games. So don't expect me to find u. You wan see me, can! Come find me lor. I won't bother going over automatically. Only 22nd i'll appear infront of you with my own will. If not, don't bother looking around to see if i'm there or not. Dishearted.
I should be more understanding. But, if u're in my shoes. u would have broke up with him long ago. Sorry but i didn't. Don't know why i love him so much. It's just too much. What if it becomes hatred? Regret si him! He's asleep right now at this moment. He didnt bother coming over my house as his audi fren going over to his house to find him in the evening or night. Nevermind. No space to let u in either. Dad came back early today. Luckily he didnt come over. If not i don't know what my dad would had done earlier. Scold me probably.
Met mummy at the train station around 6pm just now. Pass her the phone which i've unlocked after several days of thinking (: Paiseh lor. My memory super lousy. Can't remember things well. SO it took me days to unlock one phone's code. Great day. Finally unlocked the bloody phone and passed it to my mum. Her fren needs a phone urgently. MY's phones can't be trusted. Mum's fren bought the phone for only a few weeks/months and it's not down. Sg's phone can last how long? Mine, more than 2 years i guess. Yeah. Just look at the Quality (: Huge difference~
Mum saw Jms's sis. She asked me who was it. I didnt think properly and replied "my boyfriend's jie'' Her immediate question to rebute me was = Your boyfriend leh? [zai na li] + He how old? + Got photo? Of cos i answered "He's at home, He's 18, No photo'' End of the day speech was; So young pa semo tuo. [pa tuo = date] Really can't let my mum see James's face. She will really faint! Shouldn't have said boyfriend's sis. Should have said friend la! My brain, really not smart. sorry then. I'm dumb.
Audi's boring. Very sian sia. Wanna go out leh. But no where to go. Haiz. Stuck with my laptop for the night then. Goodbye!
Whenever I blog, it just means that i'm at home. Yeah, it's nice to be at home. Much more comfortable. Prefer being at home. But when I cant see him, i miss him. Sad to say, thou i love him so much, he doesnt love me as much. Sad luh. Who wouldn't?
Yesterday, we went over to suntec asiasoft place. For? Get his account back. Too bad~ He didn't get it back! Hahs, thats for punishing him for ill-treating me! Serves him right. Thanks to God <3>
I know he loves me. But after feelings, there's still acts which has to be done as a boyfriend. Right? If u really loves me, you wouldn't leave me alone walking in the shopping mall. Instead, where should u be? Beside me of cos! Not chatting with your buddy and left me all alone, lost. He didnt even bother to take a look back to see if i'm there or not! He just kept walking n chatting with his buddy. Eventually he waited. At where? After a really long distance. Damm it. None of my ex ever did that! He's the first. I didnt say anything, only kept following him. I don't know why either. Normally, i would flare up and walk away. To any other places where he can't find me. Did anyone of ur boyfriends did this to u? Nope right? Mine did.
We board the train. We sat from City Hall to Marina Bay. So as to get a seat luh! Having to stand from City Hall to AMK sours my legs (: He sat beside me. Opposite me was a COUPLE. I observed them. The boyfriend was so sweet to her! Mine leh? What was he doing? He was playing the bloody PSP lah! Why did he play the psp? To win in the VS with his buddy. Buddy again. Am i really important to him? How important am i then? If me n his buddy dropped inside the sea, who would he save first? I bet he would say GF, but when the real thing comes, he wouldn't save me. Cos i doubt he considered me as a GF. Maybe i think too much. Or he would save his buddies instead of me first la. Whatever, I know how to swim abit. Drown to death also alright. The earlier i die, the better.
When i've reach my stop, AMK, he didnt even say BYE or Kiss me! He just looked at me! That's what a FRIEND normally does right? No. It looks more like a stranger! A friend would say BYE de! At Novena Station, he told me, anything msg me. Okay, that's better. At least he's concerned by A LIL BIT. What a ''BOYFRIEND'' I've got ya.
Suan le. Enough of yesterday! Talk le jiu angry. Even yj said '' u look more like a fren '' Heartbroken okay! But he did get jealous once. Cos i msged yj for almost the whole day. Then he jealous. Possessive yea?
Even thou he treats me like this, I still bear with it. Don't know why either. Yj say '' Cos u love him so much '' Probably. Hahs. So what if i love him. I didn't get back what i sow.
Hope he'll get back his account later. Nothing serious will happen on 22th. <3
Okay. I'm back finally! Missed my blog lots! Been hanging out with Jms these past few days. Him and his bunch of slacker friends. It was quite fun thou. Far better than rotting at home. Where did i go? Woodlands 768. For days. Never went back home at all. Slacked around Woodlands with him. Boring at times, but luckily got his sis with me. Chatted a lot with her sis. She's really friendly. Like her a lot. Can chat = I like, Cannot chat = i don't like. Easy right? Hahs.
Finally I'm back home. So happy. He never allowed me to go home these few days. Find it hard to lie to my mum =p Nevermind, I endured (: Okay, and its the 4th day. A bit insecure while with him thou. If only he can be more > ti tie <> xi xing < . He's always with his buddies or game! Once he have these 2, he totally forget about me. But he cares about my safety lots. Maybe cos it's late at night. Whatever~
Being around him, felt glad. Seeing him around me, always, its enough. Nothing is more important than him right now. I love him. Thank you God for giving him to me <3
Alot to update, lazy type out. If u wanna know, msg me or call me. I'll tell u then. Too much to type. Being with him, makes my day special. ^^ Tatas~
Today's a long day. A really really long day. Went to 3 different places. All 3 places are far away from each other. Guess how much i've spent on bus n train fare. Its a whole $5. Gahs. I really know how to travel. Kept losing myself in these places la! The first 2 places are really hard to find!
First was Woodlands. Blk 768. When i got there, i realise, i've been to this mart before. Its a small shopping centre. It's near Jacqlyn's place. Wanted to go over her house to see how's she doing. But guess better not. Didnt contact for such a long time. Probably 2 years i guess. Around 2 years or maybe even more. Why this place? Cos it's one of his hangout places. Wanted to see where he hangs out? No la. HAHA. Just wanted to see this place, can say quite interested :D
Second place was a HQ. Police HQ in Jurong. U know, Jurong. DAMM IT. Super far la. Only wanted to see this place also. Think my kor went in there before. Kor was locked up at the nearby Boy's Home last time. A few years back. This place is really hard to find ><>
Third place is. Ta-Da~ SGH. =='' Why did i go SGH! Who landed in hospital!! No la, no one ended up in the hospital. My close ones are not so suay okay! I don't think my luck is so bad until it's spreaded onto others! It's to have dinner with my Jie. She's working in the SGH now. She looks different from her picture! Chio-er (: She looks shorter than what i've expected. Maybe you can say that i'm tall, that's why. Hahs. Doesn't matter.
Cos didn't have the appetite to eat, left home in the noon with an empty stomach. Can't be bothered to eat either. Throughout the train rides and bus rides. I kept feeling nauseous. Maybe cos of the empty stomach. Whatever. I'm back at home feeling fine after all.
He still haven't reply me. I think i'm kind of, lame & irritating. Kept msging him, I even called once, after Heni's advice. Really worried. Hope he'll be alright inside. Hope he can be released soon.
I even doubt him. I'm sorry, i can't stop myself from thinking otherwise. Cos something bad happened to my jie, and she fell in love with the same type of guys as James. So can't stop thinking of the negative things. Like, he's making up one story to avoid me. Whatever. I always can THINK and every time, it's a SUPER out-of-the-box thinking . Don't care anymore. Just pray that he'll be able to go home soon to enjoy his comfortable bed.
Can anyone tell me whats cantonment? Sorry, but i'm really noob in such things. Thou my kor's a paikia, but he doesnt tell me anything about such things. I know cantonment concerns police case. But very unsure of its meaning in real life application lah><
Shall end here for today. Fainting soon. Held the phone really tight today, every msg or calls are immediately answered n replied. But yet didn't receive any news of him. He bought his phone to the Police HQ. Hope he can faster msg me or even call me. Worried still.
part of Jay's 彩虹 - describes what i'm going through right now. indeed. thou time can heal me, but time also hurts me gradually. as time goes by, i fall deeper into another trap given by someone else. that's it. the love-cycle.
another Jay's song, 我不配. really 配不上他. What can i do? Like that lor. I also cannot do anything. But jie is always so encouraging. she kept asking me to think positively. I shouldn't always think its impossible between me n him. I should think its possible. Jie also said to fight for my own happiness. No wonder Jie's so bold (: If i've got half of her courage, proabably, i won't be crying in the night anymore~
I know this post is very china. But bear with it. Cos it's a chinese song. (: Songs i like recently are very cheena. Who cares. As long as it suits my ears, nothing else matters :D
Okay. As what the title said, it's depression luh. Depressed bout what? Ladies, in general, can only worry bout a few things.
1. Face - pimples, freckles,wrinkles, blah blah....
2. Clothing - what to wear ==
3. Money - who doesn't worry about this? =o
4. Men - in short, love lor.
5. Sisters - probably?
Above, #1 is something i've always been worrying about. So couldnt be it. #2 isn't something to worry about either. Cos i don't go out often. #3 is also a constant worry, no point being depressed only at this moment right? #5 is ridiculous. Sisters, I only have 3 sisters, one back in Indo, one sleeping, last one in UK. So guess i don't have much to worry bout. Obviously, its #4!
This is what happens when u fall for a hongster. Alot to worry about. Don't really like this feeling. He's just too high profile. Over popular until i cannot really take it. I've nothing to being with, so u would probably say i have nothing to end with. So stop being depressed. But the case is, of cos sad! who wouldn't? Falling for a hongster is something most unwanted. If u've ever fell for a hongster before, u would've know how i feel right now.
Lots of thoughts went through my mind when i'm writing this post. How i wish, someone can be right here, by my side, until i've sort out my thoughts. It's scary to be alone at home, facing your laptop 24/7, thinking of him,...... Most scary part would be, you fell deeply into the trap, yet he's just fooling around with u.
Not feeling well right now. Shall stop writing n thinking.
It's the break-up season again! That's what I've been experiencing since i know love. During this period of the year, lots of break ups between couples i know would happen. Gahs! Maybe it's just coincidence. Who knows?
Just came back from Malaysia, granny's house, totally rotten (: My hair's done. But that fringe, freaked me out totally. Disgusted luh. Show you guys when u meet me. Now i have to clip my fringe up whenever i go out! Shouldn't have cut my fringe ><'' After i've taken out my extensions, my hair seemed to have lessen itself. Probably it's just a think-too-much. Hope i don't get botak.
Was really tired after i came back. Reached home yesterday at 9PM. Slept not long after I've finished packing my stuffs. Kind of pig. Even when i'm in granny's house, I slept at 9pm or even earlier and woke at 10am then next day. Can't really sleep well. Don't really like the bed over there. And the smell! So kumpong leh. Lizards all over the place at night. Luckily the room is air-conditioned, if not i wont even stay over!
Today's an average day for me. Was in audi when i woke, around 7am. Saw him not long after i woke. Got to know his main got banned again. Not confirmed if he could get it back again. Hope he gets it back, if not, i don't think i'll be able to see him in audi ever again. He likes pretty girls, means i don't stand a chance. I'm neither smart nor chio. So should i stay away from him?
Even thou i didnt even met him before, only seen him in friendster, know him for a lil bit in audi, but his character, was something i will never forget. He doesn't jio girls, neither do i jio guys. So thats a good-game yeah?
I'm in a dilemma, don't know who to choose,don't know what to do. I admit i'm flicker-minded. That's why i'm not a good girl. Very confused. Give me some time. I'll sort it out. Hope i won't hurt anyone in the end.
Oh good news, my KG went down again. Stress probably, didn't really eat much these few weeks. Either no food or lazy or training audi.
I'm really trying my best. Yet, he didnt accept me. Wanted to join his guild cos of him and cos the guild's name was nice. Like that name alot. But can't get entry approval. Hahas, must not stress myself anymore. My body's acting weirdly recently. Can't really eat much.
Can't get myself to write so much, not sure why either.
PS: Waiting For Someone I Don't Know. Probably Him. Hope He will never forget about me. Hope I'll Be A Someone In His Life. Missing Him Every Moment.
Amazing series ! Only laughters and laughters found while watching. Gahs. Betty's cool. She's really damm ugly, no sense of fashion and every shit you want out of her, she's got it! Damm chio (: Anyway. Why out of the sudden, i'm ugly-betty`ing? Oh. Cos i was really really bored. Saw this new season of Desperate Housewives, then decided to watch it. While searching for D.H in youtube. Ugly betty strike me. Just like how a lottery did. It's damm irritating alright. Having to search from the first season, first episode to the last one. I just couldn't find the first episode of the first season. Having a hard time finding with boyfriend alright. It's okay. We managed to find the second episode of the first season instead. So started watching it. Found Betty really chio. Keep it up betty, i love you~
Anyway. Had a really long chat with boyfriend last night. Found out alot of things. Pretty cool. Last night was one of the nights in my life that i will never forget. I love him.
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HENI DONG SHU YA. I didn't update? I've updated this ESPECIALLY FOR YOU *grins* Complain somemore and your reputation shall be in HELL (: <3
I'm not at home now. Guess where am i right now at this moment? Dear's friend, Eugene's house. Just got up after an hour of rest. My stomach hurts, it really hurts. Th pain, unbearable! It's alright, i got through it still. Th pain was with me for the whole night! Don't know what happened to my precious lil stomach. Sobs. Stress probably. Felt so much better after waking. Maybe camping over at Eugene's house for a few days. In woodlands, besides dear's house, there're no other places i can go to. I mean overnight. Guess Eugene's th only one who can accept me for a few nights. Don't wish to go home. Don't wanna let my family members have th chance to question me for my tears. I wouldn't know what to say or reply them. If i kept quiet, they would get angry. Don't wanna see them worried bout me. Therefore, I'm here in woodlands! I'm sad. But who knows, think alot knows that i'm sad. But dear doesn't know that i'm sad.
Back to topic, i wanted to say why i ended up at Eugene's house last night. Was accompanying Winna, dear's sis, almost everyday. Worried bout her and whenever i'm at dear's house, winna's the only one who can pei me. He's useless. Only know audi, Audi is th only thing important to him. After audi ? buddies or most probably illusion, his ex. Whatever. I'll only get sad when i mention him out, when i mention his ex out. It's always like this. From th beginning, if u still have her in ur heart, why bother asking me. Why must u lie to me? Am i so nice to bluff? Not funny! U think its nice to toy with others' feelings? think bout it, if u're me. How would u feel? Won't feel good of cos! DUH! WHO WOULD FEEL GOOD AFTE BEING TOYED BY OTHERS?
Sibei bo mood after talking or mention bout him. His image, his pictures, his name can only make me feel sad. In a relationship, I should feel happy or at least glad. But in this relationship, i only feel sadness and emptiness. Not at all happy or even glad. Okay. change. in the beginning, yes. But as days goes by, it dropped. Drastically! Right after only one week, i felt like i went through a year. Not kua zhang at all okay. I don't know how to describe this feeling. But its like this lor.
He cheated on me. He said he loves me, but he needs time to sort out his feelings, and decides if we could go on. WHY? i guess its cos i can't satisfy his needs (: I'm not those wild in bed kind of girl. I'm a very normal and simple girl! I'm not Angelina or Rihanna or whatever stars u name. I'm not those Porn Stars who can satisfy your needs. I have my needs too! and that's REST of cos. Why can't u just let me rest. And stop whinning that it's boring everyday? If being with me still makes u feel bored, go chase back your illusion. She can make ur everyday A GOOD DAY.
Can't stand my attitude? Hey LOOK HERE! Who's the one who's suffering? OPEN UR DAMM EYES WIDE! irritating la! Th one with attitude problem saying others have attitude problem. If you doesnt want to be with me. SAY from the beginning! Don't make me sad luh! It wont feel good to be sadded alright! Everyone has flaws. I can't escape from these flaws either. But look. I can stand your bad points. Can u stand mine? I didnt even have much time to show u my flaws! and u said i've got bad points? Come on~ what kind of reasoning is that? Your flaws are So fucking lot! U name it, he got it.
At first i tot he was different from other guys, nah. I was wrong. Totally wrong! He's th same as other guys! NO DIFFERENCE~ Try get hooked by him and u'll know. I love him. Yes. But,there's nothing i can do right now to get him to love me. Love can't be forced. Everyone says tht i'm dumb, silly, stupid and everything. Treat him so good for what? Why are u being so nice to him? You deserves a better guy. Yeah. Even his best fren said so. He's just TOO selfish. He only thinks for himself. He thought the world revolves around him. What a ''king'' thinking. U're plainly selfish and immatured.
Tot your character was a better one among th guys, that's why i fall for u. Tot u're matured, that's why i fell for u. But right now. after so many things that've happened, i realised, i'm wrong. again. Ur friends, who are younger than u, is also much more matured than u do. Your friends have a much better ccharacter than you do. What more can you say? I'm not fit to be your gf and those shiit stuff? Or don't want to hurt me, So it's best if we don't continue this relationship? Name me whatever u've gt my dear. Fucked up by his super weird attitude. Yeah, cos he's special.
I cursed and swear at him for one essay. But i miss him. A lot. Right now. In my heart, he still has got a place. Why did i love him so much? I'm really dumb. Whenever i think of him, my heart got the monobeat coming bout, can't breath well. maybe even stopped my breathe for tht three seconds. How hurt it was? Take a knife and stab me. Slice me up alive. Really tired of such relationships. Thought i've found a long lasting one. Didn't turn out well. I'll move on ahead. I'll make sure i shine better than all his ex. I'll make sure he regret for cheating on me. U're TX? then i'm SUPER DUPER UBER TX (:
I'm at home for tonight. Bought his 2nd sis back home. I kidnapped her (: Over a short period of time, I've successfully became a kidnapper! SO beware of ME. I'm just warning you. Lmao.
Came back home, dropped the thoughts of going back woodlands. Mainly, becos of HIM. Yes. It's Him again! Games comes first, followed by Buddies, then Girlfriend. Grats me. Found such a ''good'' boyfriend. For game, he can neglect me. Sua. i take the fact that u're obsessed with games. So don't expect me to find u. You wan see me, can! Come find me lor. I won't bother going over automatically. Only 22nd i'll appear infront of you with my own will. If not, don't bother looking around to see if i'm there or not. Dishearted.
I should be more understanding. But, if u're in my shoes. u would have broke up with him long ago. Sorry but i didn't. Don't know why i love him so much. It's just too much. What if it becomes hatred? Regret si him! He's asleep right now at this moment. He didnt bother coming over my house as his audi fren going over to his house to find him in the evening or night. Nevermind. No space to let u in either. Dad came back early today. Luckily he didnt come over. If not i don't know what my dad would had done earlier. Scold me probably.
Met mummy at the train station around 6pm just now. Pass her the phone which i've unlocked after several days of thinking (: Paiseh lor. My memory super lousy. Can't remember things well. SO it took me days to unlock one phone's code. Great day. Finally unlocked the bloody phone and passed it to my mum. Her fren needs a phone urgently. MY's phones can't be trusted. Mum's fren bought the phone for only a few weeks/months and it's not down. Sg's phone can last how long? Mine, more than 2 years i guess. Yeah. Just look at the Quality (: Huge difference~
Mum saw Jms's sis. She asked me who was it. I didnt think properly and replied "my boyfriend's jie'' Her immediate question to rebute me was = Your boyfriend leh? [zai na li] + He how old? + Got photo? Of cos i answered "He's at home, He's 18, No photo'' End of the day speech was; So young pa semo tuo. [pa tuo = date] Really can't let my mum see James's face. She will really faint! Shouldn't have said boyfriend's sis. Should have said friend la! My brain, really not smart. sorry then. I'm dumb.
Audi's boring. Very sian sia. Wanna go out leh. But no where to go. Haiz. Stuck with my laptop for the night then. Goodbye!
Whenever I blog, it just means that i'm at home. Yeah, it's nice to be at home. Much more comfortable. Prefer being at home. But when I cant see him, i miss him. Sad to say, thou i love him so much, he doesnt love me as much. Sad luh. Who wouldn't?
Yesterday, we went over to suntec asiasoft place. For? Get his account back. Too bad~ He didn't get it back! Hahs, thats for punishing him for ill-treating me! Serves him right. Thanks to God <3>
I know he loves me. But after feelings, there's still acts which has to be done as a boyfriend. Right? If u really loves me, you wouldn't leave me alone walking in the shopping mall. Instead, where should u be? Beside me of cos! Not chatting with your buddy and left me all alone, lost. He didnt even bother to take a look back to see if i'm there or not! He just kept walking n chatting with his buddy. Eventually he waited. At where? After a really long distance. Damm it. None of my ex ever did that! He's the first. I didnt say anything, only kept following him. I don't know why either. Normally, i would flare up and walk away. To any other places where he can't find me. Did anyone of ur boyfriends did this to u? Nope right? Mine did.
We board the train. We sat from City Hall to Marina Bay. So as to get a seat luh! Having to stand from City Hall to AMK sours my legs (: He sat beside me. Opposite me was a COUPLE. I observed them. The boyfriend was so sweet to her! Mine leh? What was he doing? He was playing the bloody PSP lah! Why did he play the psp? To win in the VS with his buddy. Buddy again. Am i really important to him? How important am i then? If me n his buddy dropped inside the sea, who would he save first? I bet he would say GF, but when the real thing comes, he wouldn't save me. Cos i doubt he considered me as a GF. Maybe i think too much. Or he would save his buddies instead of me first la. Whatever, I know how to swim abit. Drown to death also alright. The earlier i die, the better.
When i've reach my stop, AMK, he didnt even say BYE or Kiss me! He just looked at me! That's what a FRIEND normally does right? No. It looks more like a stranger! A friend would say BYE de! At Novena Station, he told me, anything msg me. Okay, that's better. At least he's concerned by A LIL BIT. What a ''BOYFRIEND'' I've got ya.
Suan le. Enough of yesterday! Talk le jiu angry. Even yj said '' u look more like a fren '' Heartbroken okay! But he did get jealous once. Cos i msged yj for almost the whole day. Then he jealous. Possessive yea?
Even thou he treats me like this, I still bear with it. Don't know why either. Yj say '' Cos u love him so much '' Probably. Hahs. So what if i love him. I didn't get back what i sow.
Hope he'll get back his account later. Nothing serious will happen on 22th. <3
Okay. I'm back finally! Missed my blog lots! Been hanging out with Jms these past few days. Him and his bunch of slacker friends. It was quite fun thou. Far better than rotting at home. Where did i go? Woodlands 768. For days. Never went back home at all. Slacked around Woodlands with him. Boring at times, but luckily got his sis with me. Chatted a lot with her sis. She's really friendly. Like her a lot. Can chat = I like, Cannot chat = i don't like. Easy right? Hahs.
Finally I'm back home. So happy. He never allowed me to go home these few days. Find it hard to lie to my mum =p Nevermind, I endured (: Okay, and its the 4th day. A bit insecure while with him thou. If only he can be more > ti tie <> xi xing < . He's always with his buddies or game! Once he have these 2, he totally forget about me. But he cares about my safety lots. Maybe cos it's late at night. Whatever~
Being around him, felt glad. Seeing him around me, always, its enough. Nothing is more important than him right now. I love him. Thank you God for giving him to me <3
Alot to update, lazy type out. If u wanna know, msg me or call me. I'll tell u then. Too much to type. Being with him, makes my day special. ^^ Tatas~
Today's a long day. A really really long day. Went to 3 different places. All 3 places are far away from each other. Guess how much i've spent on bus n train fare. Its a whole $5. Gahs. I really know how to travel. Kept losing myself in these places la! The first 2 places are really hard to find!
First was Woodlands. Blk 768. When i got there, i realise, i've been to this mart before. Its a small shopping centre. It's near Jacqlyn's place. Wanted to go over her house to see how's she doing. But guess better not. Didnt contact for such a long time. Probably 2 years i guess. Around 2 years or maybe even more. Why this place? Cos it's one of his hangout places. Wanted to see where he hangs out? No la. HAHA. Just wanted to see this place, can say quite interested :D
Second place was a HQ. Police HQ in Jurong. U know, Jurong. DAMM IT. Super far la. Only wanted to see this place also. Think my kor went in there before. Kor was locked up at the nearby Boy's Home last time. A few years back. This place is really hard to find ><>
Third place is. Ta-Da~ SGH. =='' Why did i go SGH! Who landed in hospital!! No la, no one ended up in the hospital. My close ones are not so suay okay! I don't think my luck is so bad until it's spreaded onto others! It's to have dinner with my Jie. She's working in the SGH now. She looks different from her picture! Chio-er (: She looks shorter than what i've expected. Maybe you can say that i'm tall, that's why. Hahs. Doesn't matter.
Cos didn't have the appetite to eat, left home in the noon with an empty stomach. Can't be bothered to eat either. Throughout the train rides and bus rides. I kept feeling nauseous. Maybe cos of the empty stomach. Whatever. I'm back at home feeling fine after all.
He still haven't reply me. I think i'm kind of, lame & irritating. Kept msging him, I even called once, after Heni's advice. Really worried. Hope he'll be alright inside. Hope he can be released soon.
I even doubt him. I'm sorry, i can't stop myself from thinking otherwise. Cos something bad happened to my jie, and she fell in love with the same type of guys as James. So can't stop thinking of the negative things. Like, he's making up one story to avoid me. Whatever. I always can THINK and every time, it's a SUPER out-of-the-box thinking . Don't care anymore. Just pray that he'll be able to go home soon to enjoy his comfortable bed.
Can anyone tell me whats cantonment? Sorry, but i'm really noob in such things. Thou my kor's a paikia, but he doesnt tell me anything about such things. I know cantonment concerns police case. But very unsure of its meaning in real life application lah><
Shall end here for today. Fainting soon. Held the phone really tight today, every msg or calls are immediately answered n replied. But yet didn't receive any news of him. He bought his phone to the Police HQ. Hope he can faster msg me or even call me. Worried still.
part of Jay's 彩虹 - describes what i'm going through right now. indeed. thou time can heal me, but time also hurts me gradually. as time goes by, i fall deeper into another trap given by someone else. that's it. the love-cycle.
another Jay's song, 我不配. really 配不上他. What can i do? Like that lor. I also cannot do anything. But jie is always so encouraging. she kept asking me to think positively. I shouldn't always think its impossible between me n him. I should think its possible. Jie also said to fight for my own happiness. No wonder Jie's so bold (: If i've got half of her courage, proabably, i won't be crying in the night anymore~
I know this post is very china. But bear with it. Cos it's a chinese song. (: Songs i like recently are very cheena. Who cares. As long as it suits my ears, nothing else matters :D
Okay. As what the title said, it's depression luh. Depressed bout what? Ladies, in general, can only worry bout a few things.
1. Face - pimples, freckles,wrinkles, blah blah....
2. Clothing - what to wear ==
3. Money - who doesn't worry about this? =o
4. Men - in short, love lor.
5. Sisters - probably?
Above, #1 is something i've always been worrying about. So couldnt be it. #2 isn't something to worry about either. Cos i don't go out often. #3 is also a constant worry, no point being depressed only at this moment right? #5 is ridiculous. Sisters, I only have 3 sisters, one back in Indo, one sleeping, last one in UK. So guess i don't have much to worry bout. Obviously, its #4!
This is what happens when u fall for a hongster. Alot to worry about. Don't really like this feeling. He's just too high profile. Over popular until i cannot really take it. I've nothing to being with, so u would probably say i have nothing to end with. So stop being depressed. But the case is, of cos sad! who wouldn't? Falling for a hongster is something most unwanted. If u've ever fell for a hongster before, u would've know how i feel right now.
Lots of thoughts went through my mind when i'm writing this post. How i wish, someone can be right here, by my side, until i've sort out my thoughts. It's scary to be alone at home, facing your laptop 24/7, thinking of him,...... Most scary part would be, you fell deeply into the trap, yet he's just fooling around with u.
Not feeling well right now. Shall stop writing n thinking.
It's the break-up season again! That's what I've been experiencing since i know love. During this period of the year, lots of break ups between couples i know would happen. Gahs! Maybe it's just coincidence. Who knows?
Just came back from Malaysia, granny's house, totally rotten (: My hair's done. But that fringe, freaked me out totally. Disgusted luh. Show you guys when u meet me. Now i have to clip my fringe up whenever i go out! Shouldn't have cut my fringe ><'' After i've taken out my extensions, my hair seemed to have lessen itself. Probably it's just a think-too-much. Hope i don't get botak.
Was really tired after i came back. Reached home yesterday at 9PM. Slept not long after I've finished packing my stuffs. Kind of pig. Even when i'm in granny's house, I slept at 9pm or even earlier and woke at 10am then next day. Can't really sleep well. Don't really like the bed over there. And the smell! So kumpong leh. Lizards all over the place at night. Luckily the room is air-conditioned, if not i wont even stay over!
Today's an average day for me. Was in audi when i woke, around 7am. Saw him not long after i woke. Got to know his main got banned again. Not confirmed if he could get it back again. Hope he gets it back, if not, i don't think i'll be able to see him in audi ever again. He likes pretty girls, means i don't stand a chance. I'm neither smart nor chio. So should i stay away from him?
Even thou i didnt even met him before, only seen him in friendster, know him for a lil bit in audi, but his character, was something i will never forget. He doesn't jio girls, neither do i jio guys. So thats a good-game yeah?
I'm in a dilemma, don't know who to choose,don't know what to do. I admit i'm flicker-minded. That's why i'm not a good girl. Very confused. Give me some time. I'll sort it out. Hope i won't hurt anyone in the end.
Oh good news, my KG went down again. Stress probably, didn't really eat much these few weeks. Either no food or lazy or training audi.
I'm really trying my best. Yet, he didnt accept me. Wanted to join his guild cos of him and cos the guild's name was nice. Like that name alot. But can't get entry approval. Hahas, must not stress myself anymore. My body's acting weirdly recently. Can't really eat much.
Can't get myself to write so much, not sure why either.
PS: Waiting For Someone I Don't Know. Probably Him. Hope He will never forget about me. Hope I'll Be A Someone In His Life. Missing Him Every Moment.
BETTY ! @@
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JiaHuan